I'm Sorry
by Only-A-Dreamer
Summary: AU I'm not by your side, yet love goes on. I'm sorry for saying I'm leaving, and I'm sorry for saying the way I felt had changed. I went in circles around what I meant to say. I left I'm sorry unsaid. I loved you so much. I'm sorry I really loved you.
1. Left Unsaid

I'm Sorry

Disclaimer: I don't own Inu Yasha, or the song "I'm Sorry" by F-iv. I also have to credit the translation of the song "I'm Sorry" to

**All translations by: Eebyul and/or Seo JungHee (also credit: )**

Author's Note: You have to read the song (the lines which are centered) to understand the story, if you do not and do not understand the story, DO NOT blame me, thanks.

_I'm not by your side, yet love goes on_

--

It hurt, it really did. Her legs gave beneath her, and she sank to her knees on the cold, marble floor of her apartment, her hand still clutching the phone. "Kagome, are you still there?" She collected herself, and she brought the phone slowly up to her right ear. "Miroku? You don't… you are just… kidding right?"

When she heard the strained silence on the other side, she couldn't help but persist, "Please, Miroku, tell me your kidding, please." her voice began to crack, and she knew that she shouldn't beg, but she couldn't lose him, she just couldn't. "Please, whatever I am doing wrong, I'll change, don't leave me please, please."

--

At his condo, Miroku couldn't help but grit his teeth at her pleading voice. 'Doesn't she realize how much this hurts me, too. How much I love her?' He wanted to scream at her, and call her an idiot, a fool.

'Even after all I've done, why does she still want to be with me. I'm trying to help her, I just don't want to hurt her anymore.' He took a deep breath, and prayed to god his voice would sound convincing to her ears, and not sound as distraught as he was inside. "Kagome, let's not prolong this, or make this any more distressing than this already is."

_I'm sorry for saying I'm leaving  
I'm sorry for saying the way I felt had changed  
I couldn't say it to say my life  
It was right on the tip of my tongue  
I went in circles around what I meant to say  
I left "I'm sorry" unsaid  
I loved you so much  
I'm sorry; I really loved you_

--

Miroku's calm, collected voice traveled into her ear. 'What does he mean, distressing, he doesn't even sound sad.' But then the rest of his words traveled to her ears, and her mouth opened in shock, tears formed, and began stinging her eyes. "I don't love you anymore, and that's it. Our relationship has never been truly stable, and I don't think we seem to match anymore." "No…" The crackled word left her mouth.

Tears fully running down her face. "Miroku, whatever I did, I'm sorry, I'll change, don't leave me. I don't care about all those girls, I don't. I'm sorry I yelled at you, and for all the things I said. I didn't mean them, please… Just don't leave me. Please…" she begged. Her mind yelled at her, harsh words ringing in her mind, 'Don't you have any dignity, any pride? The man says he doesn't love you, loud and clear. Don't you understand?' But her heart wouldn't hear such words. 'He does love me, I know it.'

She didn't care whether or not he would say he loved her, but she just needed him to be there with her, by her side. Because she knew, though it was stupid, she had to have him by her side, for she couldn't live without him. She tried one last time, for she knew her words were not changing his decision. "Miroku, please, just-" Her words were cut off by Miroku's snap.

_I wanted you to understand but didn't say a word  
You couldn't forgive me because I didn't apologize  
I can't ever be your man  
There's nothing else I can say for myself  
I love you, but now it would be wrong to be together  
Though I wanna be your man  
I really can't help it  
I let you suffer so much because I couldn't say  
I'm sorry_

--

Miroku was beginning to get tired of her pleas. They were tearing his heart into pieces. 'How can she still love me? I want to stay with her, I do. But I love her too much, to keep hurting her.' His heart wanted to scream out his true feelings but he knew that this way would only continue hurting her.

Every time he looked at a pretty girl passing him, or even as far as hitting on them, he knew it hurt her. She smiled it off, but sometimes she would break down and yell at him. He tried, but he couldn't help it. This way, she could move on, and be with someone who would not hurt her, and be faithful to her. He grinded his teeth at the thought of her with someone else, of her making love with someone else. He had been her first, and when they had finally made love, he had been so happy, so proud that he had an innocent girlfriend whom solely belonged to him.

That was during their first year together. When they had truly been happy, but things changed. This year had been horrible, his lingering attention constantly hurting her, and they began to fight on a regular basis. He wanted to change, truly, because he didn't want anyone but her. Still… he couldn't help it. 'Why does she keep apologizing? She has done nothing wrong. I am the one who is supposed to say sorry to her. I want her to stay exactly the way she is now, perfect. But then why can't I just stay happy with her.'

No one could light a candle to his Kagome. He shook his head, 'She won't be mine anymore. This is the only way.' "Stop it, Kagome. Things aren't working out and that's that. I… I want to say thank you. And that you shouldn't call me again. Our calls… we really have nothing to say to each other, goodbye, Kagome." And he clicked off the phone.

_It kills me to say this, but don't call again  
If you call again like this, you know you'll just have  
to cry  
I wanted it all, and I loved it all  
You just have to leave me and try to forget, too  
_

--

Kagome was speechless, her heart torn in half. When she heard the operator talk to her, she realized she had continued to hold the phone to her ear, listening to the dial tone, long after Miroku had hung up on her, hoping maybe he would miraculously call back. 'He won't call back, he won't ever come back.' She put the phone on the stand, and walked to her room in a daze. She laid on the bed, and curled into fetal position, doing the only thing she knew she could do, cry.


	2. Because I Love You

I'm Sorry

Disclaimer: I don't own Inu Yasha, or the song "I'm Sorry" by F-iv or "Because I Love You" by WAX. I also have to credit the translation of the songs to

**All translations by: Eebyul and/or Seo JungHee (also credit: )**

Author's Note: Once again, you have to read the song (the lines which are centered or italized) to understand the story, if you do not and do not understand the story, DO NOT blame me, thanks.

THREE MONTHS LATER

Sango looked around the crowded shopping center for her best friend. 'Dammit, where is she? She better not be at home again.' Sango had been so proud of her this morning. Finally, Kagome had agreed to stop moping, and spare one hour of shopping for her best friend. 'Stupid ass monk!' She laughed softly at that. It was strange how when they first met him, every one had christened him, "the monk" for having grown up in a temple, but he was far from celibate, or even innocent.

She had really hated him ever since he broke up with Kagome, because she had done nothing but mope and work. As she saw a silky black haired head moving in the direction away from her, she broke from her thoughts, cupped her hands over her mouth, and screamed, "Kagome!"

_I cried every night because of you  
I spent the whole night like that  
I thought I would forget you as time passed  
And it should be time for me to forget you_

--

She walked around aimlessly. She had come early, long before the time Sango had designated, but she couldn't find her. 'I shouldn't have come, I should have just stayed home.' Just as she began walking away from the pavilion, she heard someone call her name, and turned to it.

A woman ran into her, hugging her. "Kagome, I can't believe you finally left your apartment, I've missed you, we've all missed you, even Inu Yasha wanted to see you." Sango said. Kagome smiled slightly at her friends' antics. "Okay, Sango calm down. We came to shop, so let's."

_When another day passes,  
Another layer of regret stacks up in my heart  
My small habits still contain you in them_

--

After almost two hours of shopping, the two went into a small restaurant to rest and eat, mostly due to Kagome's pleading. Reluctantly, Sango had agreed, saying she would only drink but wasn't interested in food. Almost instinctively as Kagome sat down, she dug her hands into her purse, and with a triumphant, "I got it!" she showed her prize to Sango, before realizing who she was with. 'This isn't Miroku I am going out with, Sango isn't the picky guy who hates germs, and is almost scared of them.' Looking at the small bottle of disinfectant spray, Sango gave a worried look at Kagome.

Kagome laughed weakly, sheepishly looking away. "Sango, I'm not hungry anymore, do you still need a drink." Sango answered with a no, and the two stood up, looking apologetically at the waiter. Just as they walked out, a woman dressed revealingly, clinging on the man beside her, rudely bumped into Kagome.

She then proceeded to get mad, and yelled at Kagome. Kagome said sorry still looking at the ground, when Sango glared back at the woman and screamed, "Why the hell are you yelling at my friend? If you had any brains you would have understood that you walked into her, you whore!"

_Why did you do that?  
What was so upsetting?  
Did you hate me enough to breakup with me?_

_I regretted it because of my petty pride  
I regretted our breakup even though I didn't catch you_

Just as she was about to continue she looked at the man at the woman's side, and a gasp elicited from her mouth. Kagome turned around to see what had given her friend shock, and felt tears sting her eyes as they threatened to fall as her realization cam to mind, 'Miroku dumped me for some woman!' She didn't say anything, and tried hard not to cry, sparing them but a glance.

Grabbing Sango's hand she strolled out, not stopping till she got outside the pavilion and into the parking lot. "I'm sorry, I didn't know, other-" Sango started, only to be cut off by Kagome. "No, it's not your fault; I was the one who wanted to eat. That's the price I pay I guess," she said laughing weakly.

Sango looked at her sympathetically and said, "Forget about him, Kagome. You're young, you're beautiful, you're smart, and you can have every guy you want. I know a lot of guys who'd die for you. Let me hook you up with one okay? Come on, Kagome."

Kagome almost shook her head when her thoughts yelled at her. 'He has moved on, shouldn't you? He will not come back, don't wait for the impossible.' With that thought she nodded yes, and walked to her car, telling Sango, "Let's go again next week okay. I feel refreshed from all this shopping."

_After you left, everything changed  
I dont know how I survived_

_Just in case you'd forget how to find me  
Im still at the same place_

As she drove home, in the back of her head, though, she couldn't help but wonder, 'Is this really the end of Miroku and me.' She wanted to answer yes but knew she could not lie to herself thusly. She loved Miroku, and she always would, despite anything he did.

_Its still not too late, you can come back  
We can meet accidently like the first time  
Dont say anything, lets start over  
We shouldnt have broken up_

_There is a reason to why we need to meet again  
Because I love you_


	3. Steps of Surrender

I'm Sorry

Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha or the characters of IY.

Author's Note: I am sorry, really sorry. I am a big procrastinator, so please forgive me. I am going to stop doing this story in songfic style for a while but I may change back to it later on. Anyways, I redid my previous chapters, boy were there mistakes.

-- --

His heart stopped, seeing her before him, then it started again pounding rapidly against his chest. He wanted to say something, run over and hold her. However, it was not like that now. They were not a couple and he had no right. 'She's been starving herself.' he thought, as he silently watched the scene before him. He held himself back, as she turned and left.

"Ugh, I can't believe they let trash in this kind of restaurant." Yura whined to him. Suddenly, his stomach churned and Miroku could only imagine how Kagome felt.

--

'God, what is her problem?' he groaned mentally. After enduring an hour of her complaining about the women who had bumped into her, and then another about herself, he finally told her that their relationship should not go beyond the first date, because clearly, they were two very different people.

Unexpectedly, she made a huge scene, embarrassing the both of them by acting if they were a serious couple breaking up. She pulled on his arm to keep him from leaving, "Miroku, I don't like jokes," she coyly said, running manicured fingers slowly up his arm.

"This date is over. Let go, Yura. I mean it." Miroku said. He clenched his fist; he was a lover not a fighter but after all the bull she had been telling him, he wanted to really hurt her, or shake her, or something, anything! 'For gods sake, the girl doesn't have any common sense!' he thought, mentally slapping himself. What in the world was he thinking when he asked her out.

He had to admit though; the strangest thing about her was her creepy fetish for hair. Suddenly, he yearned for the sensible girlfriend he use to have. He was a fool, but better he, than Kagome.

-- --

"Ka-go-me, come on!" Sango yelled exasperatedly. Kagome walked from outside the dressing room, and Sango was stunned. Kagome blushed at the wide mouthed Sango, and eagerly asked, "Does it look good? Do you think he'll like it?"

"Have you seen yourself, you're gorgeous in that Kagome! See for yourself," she said, directing Kagome to the mirror. Kagome turned around checking her figure in the mirror.

"Kouga will definitely like it." Sango said, before realizing what she had done. Looking at the shocked Kagome, she let out a small "oops". She forced a smile as her friend narrowed her eyes in anger. "Kouga?!!! Kouga?!!! He's my blind date, Sango? I've known the guy my whole life, how is that a blind date?!!!" She asked angered.

Sango smiled weakly, and jokingly said, "Well, the guy loves you, and you've been blind so that really makes you the blind one. Haha…" Her fake laugh was ended by a glare by Kagome. "Come on, really… You have been so depressed, lately, and everyone is worried, just go on one date. Kouga is so sweet to you, but you have never given him a chance. Please, Kagome?"

One look at Sango's pleading face and Kagome softened, reluctantly nodding.

-- --

"Thank you, Kouga. This is really sweet."

Fangs gleaming, Kouga smirked at her, smugly saying, "Of course, only the best for my woman." Kagome laughed softly, not bothering to correct him, thinking 'No matter how arrogant he may be, he is still very sweet.' She lifted the beautiful bouquet of roses to her nose once again, smelling them deeply.

She looked up at Kouga's expectant face. "This was a really nice dinner, thank you, Kouga." Kouga leaned in, and before he kissed her, she quickly pecked him on the cheek, knowing he wanted more than that. Kouga blushed at being caught, and leaned back, asking her, "There is a carnival tomorrow, Inu-kuro and Sango are going… do you want to go with me?"

'Give me a chance, Kagome… Come on.' He prayed silently. He let out a whoop when Kagome slowly nodded. Kagome giggled, before thanking him again, and closing the apartment door behind her.

-- --

She leaned against the door, as she listened to his soft footsteps towards the end of the hallway. She could not help but wonder if she made the right choice. 'Let go, just let it go.' She told herself. After all, is that not one of the steps to numbing the pains of heartbreak? She prayed it was so.


End file.
